no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there itās work. itās not work like itās a chore itās jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.
And itās also terrifying! Like itās the kind of vulnerability you canāt do while being all cool and in control of things, you have to like open up the really awkward, ugly inner part of yourself and hope that the other person is still into you.Ā
Like you have to actually say - with words coming out of your mouth or hands or whatever way you use to directly communicate in person - what you would like from the other person! You have to say stuff like āhey the thing you did made me feel some ways and we have to address this like adultsā and hope that the other person saysĀ āI see, yes I also think we should address this like adultsā (instead ofĀ āno I didnātā orĀ āyouāre overreactingā or other shut-down-ing shit that ruins lives).Ā
